As Christmas day approaches, I see more and more of them. You have seen them as well. Men, just standing in a mall, a department store or a gift shop with a faraway look in their eyes and a single bead of perspiration easing down their forehead. They are a desperate breed, terrified group, tormented souls for they are the men who have forgotten what their wives told them that they wanted for Christmas. But yea, there is one group in even a worst condition. Those are the men who forgot and then just picked out something that they thought was cool. Oh, Lord have mercy on this fallen being as the gift wrap is torn. Permit me to share a story of a man who knew exactly what his wife wanted and didn’t forget.

The story begins with man’s most feared question followed by a not so good answer and then a Christmas ultimatum.

“Honey, does my new Christmas party dress make me look fat?” she asked as she modeled her new dress.

Fear gripped the heart of this husband, for in twenty five years of marriage he had never answered this question correctly.

“Uh”, he stumbled, “You asked the wrong man ‘cause I saw you before you got in it”. He had kept his batting average alive.

“Well sir, I have had it with twenty five years of answers that make me feel fat”, she stormed.

“You have one chance to make this up or I am out of here”, she continued, “This Christmas I want the gift that I have always wanted. And I want a brand new one, Candy Apple red sitting in the driveway on Christmas morning. And I want it to go from 0 to 160 in a flash. You got it?”

“Yes”, he stammered, “You’ll get it”.

Christmas day she came down the stairs with doubt in her heart and was amazed that he was sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee in hand and a grin spread across his face.

“Well?” she questioned.

“It’s out here in the driveway just like you asked Candy Apple red and all”, he replied.

She threw her arms about him with a big hug and ran out to the driveway. He was exactly right. There it sat; a brand new Candy Apple red set of bathroom scales.

“Step on it”, he shouted, “and it’ll go from 0 to 160 in a flash!”

Merry Christmas and God Bless!!!!

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